How to Start Building Positive Body Image When You’ve Hit Rock Bottom
Developing a positive body image can be a challenge, especially if you have been struggling with negative thoughts and feelings about your body for a long time. But with the right guidance, you too can start your journey to building up your self-esteem. Here are some key tips to help you get started on your path to self-love.
Make Physical Self-Care a Habit First
Taking care of our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs is essential for our overall well-being and looks different for each of us. But don't feel overwhelmed by trying to tackle everything at once. Start by focusing on one area at a time, such as physical self-care. This can include getting enough good quality sleep, eating a balanced and nutritious diet including the foods that you truly enjoy, staying hydrated, and engaging in physical activity that serves you. When you take care of your body, you send a message to yourself that you are worth the effort, and as you begin to feel the positive effects of physical self-care, you may find it naturally creates a domino effect in the other areas of your life.
2. Challenge Your Negative Thoughts
Negative thoughts about your body can be a major obstacle to building a positive body image, common phrases include
“WHEN I _____________ (e.g. lose weight, drop a dress size etc), THEN I can___________”.
If you find yourself struggling with negative self-talk, write down as many of those thoughts as you can. Take some time to examine these negative thoughts and challenge them. Replace them with more positive and empowering statements, such as
"EVEN THOUGH I'm not where I want to be, I CAN STILL _______________" By doing so, you can help shift your mindset and focus into expanding your experiences and building your self-esteem, and this is what will help you reach your goals more efficiently.
3. Surround Yourself with Positive Messages
The media often promotes unrealistic body standards, which can create feelings of self-criticism and loathing, so it's important to surround yourself with more diverse and positive images and messages yourself. Some examples may include unfollowing social media accounts that don't make you feel good about yourself, and following people that promote body positivity or body neutrality. For others, expanding your understanding of the history of body image, or creating a vision board of people who inspire you for reasons beyond their body size or shape could help shift your perspective.
4. Focus on What Your Body Can Do
Building a positive body image is not just about how your body looks, but also about what your body can do. Focus on the things that your body can and does do for you on a regular basis, rather than how it looks. Whether it's walking/running a certain distance, lifting a certain amount of weight, or simply the ability to digest food or breathe deeply, celebrate your body's abilities.
5. Practice Gratitude
Practising gratitude is a powerful tool for introducing more compassion and perspective into our lives, including with our own body image. Take some time each day to think about the things that you are grateful for about your body and thank it out loud. This might include your eyesight, your sense of smell, your sense of touch, your ability to taste food and experience life’s wonders, hug someone, feel emotions…
In a study by Sirois et al (2018), researchers found that gratitude mediates the relationship between appearance comparison and body appreciation, and suggests that cultivating gratitude can be an effective strategy for improving positive body image and self-esteem. This is particularly important for those who compare themselves to others and experience negative emotions on a consistent daily basis. (1)
6. Seek Support
“No man is an island…” - John Donne
Building a positive body image can be challenging, and it's important to seek support when you need it. Whether it's talking to a therapist or counsellor, joining a support group, or confiding in a trusted friend or family member, don't be afraid to ask for help. As John Donne writes in his poem ‘No Man Is An Island’ (2), we need each other to thrive. We do well when we help one another instead of shutting the world off in favour of isolation, because every person is one piece of the greater jigsaw puzzle that we call humanity itself
Remember, asking for help is a common occurrence and nothing to feel ashamed of. We all need and ask for help at some point in our lives, and it's okay to reach out.
7. Avoid Comparison
Comparing yourself to others can be extremely damaging to your body image. Remember that everyone is unique and has their own strengths and weaknesses. Focus on your own journey, cut out external noise, and run your own race. The only person you are competing against is yourself
8. Embrace Your Imperfections
As author and speaker Wayne Dyer suggests, "When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change" (3), It's crucial to start accepting your flaws and imperfections to the best of your ability. Instead of fixating on what you perceive as "flaws," remember that they are natural and occur on every human body. The trends in physical aesthetics are constantly changing, but your unique qualities will always make you stand out.
Furthermore, your purpose in life is not just to look a certain way and quite frankly, it’s insulting to your true potential. Embracing your imperfections and radical self-acceptance for who you are and what you look like in this present moment, is a significant step towards building a positive body image and to living a fulfilling life.
9. Take Action
Everything in life is created twice, once in the mind and once through action, and taking action is by far the most powerful way to build a positive body image. Think Yin Yang; we can’t just think our way into achieving our goals, the two go hand-in-hand. To create a healthy relationship with your body, it's essential to take actionable steps towards self-care.
It could be as simple as signing up for an exercise class, trying a new creative activity, or curating an outfit that makes you feel comfortable and confident in your skin. Don't hold yourself back, if other people can do it, so can you. Start with small, incremental steps in the right direction today, and you will develop a healthier and more positive relationship with your body than ever before.
10. Self-Compassion & Radical Self-Acceptance
“If someone was as critical of me as I am of me, I would not spend an hour around that person. And yet I have to spend 24 hours with this person. Every. Single. Day”. — Joshua Fields Millburn, The Minimalists
Life is full of challenges, and it's important to acknowledge that you have done your best with the knowledge you had at the time. Often, we are our own worst critics, but if someone spoke to us the way we speak to ourselves, we wouldn't tolerate it. Despite past experiences, building a positive body image is a journey that requires ongoing effort. Taking action today, regardless of your past, is a crucial step towards creating a healthier and more positive relationship with your body. Self-compassion is the antidote to perpetual self-sabotage, so remember to be kind to yourself, seek support when you need it, and stay focused on your path instead of the obstacles.
Sources:
(1) Sirois, F. M., Rowse, G., & Chrun, E. (2018). Positive effects of gratitude on hedonic and eudaimonic well-being and the role of affective context: A meta-analysis. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 13(1), 57-71. doi: 10.1080/17439760.2016.1221126.
(2) John Donne. (2016). No Man Is an Island. In The Norton Anthology of English Literature (10th ed., Vol. B, pp. 946-947). W. W. Norton & Company.
(3) Source: Dyer, W. W. (2009). Change your thoughts - change your life: Living the wisdom of the Tao. Hay House, Inc.
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